The Internet is so silent today

When you don't know who you are anymore, when the one you love is not aswering (isn't there too much lag already?!), the Internet must seem like a very silent place. Opressingly silent. When your only reason of being online is to beat a continent and two cultures and a context, and get noticed by one, it is not the math which is going to add up the numbers. The one. The love. The Top Dog. Yes, he is Top Dog.

After all, I realize I am very mixed up. I should not be this Ally McBeal character. I do know all the theory by now, I should be able to determine the desired action. Instead, I just end being by myself and blue lately. I do not even know for a fact if he is online, if he is busy. Furtherless, do I know how he feels about me? So I spend my energies projecting hypothetical situations where me, where he and the like. Meanwhile, irl, I am pretending I am fine and I just brag I have a problem, so people won't notice it. Hell, I am writing this being almost sure nobody will read it. Some things are not the answers to the questions we might have, but we never cease matching up what we have with what we've got: questions and answers. I don't care if you don't understand what I am talking about - you are not meant to read it in the first place, therefore you don't really exist. Hence you don't have a right to complain about the logic of the above.