Take two conversations

One is for real, the other one is made up. Can you guess which is which?

Me: "If I had an orgasm for each time I was said no..."
Imaginary friend: "You mean a penny."
Me: "No. I mean an orgasm. We're not working for money. It's sex. You get fucked at work!"
Him: "Oh, that certainly gives a new meaning to the Chinese saying."
Me: "What saying?"
Him; "You know... If you like your job you it means you will never work a day in your life. My interpretation of that is, since you get fucked at work, it's not really a job..."
Me: "Yeap, however the orgasms might still be missing."

... and ...

Real person: "So where have you been on holiday?"
Me, sour smile: "Stuck at home."
Him: "Stockholm? Hm. Wow."
Me, to myself: "OK. This is one noisy bar."