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T0p D0g Reloaded

Friday, October 12, 2007

Elogy to eulogy


I suck at saying goodbye. That is a fact. I have been sucking at this for almost one year now. I am not done chewing that yet. Today it was not only the alternator belt that snapped, broke and was fixed en route from Cioranca to Antwerp. It took you four calls to decide there is nothing left to be said. "At ease, soldier! And don't be a stranger..." I probably need more time. And still, the reverb inside me was like the flat line on the heart monitor: none, no reverb.

It took us ten months to accept what some of the others probably knew the next moment you got on that train. You called now so that we could mutually agree upon the diagnosis: rigor mortis. I concurred.

This end is both a failure and a new beginning. Raising from the turmoil, the question. Will I ever again be able to love as much?

7 comments:

Luis Blasini said...

"Will I ever again be able to love as much?"

Of course you will - don't be silly. Every ending is the beginning to something better and more challenging.

monsoux said...

It's been since January I am trying to accept and re-adjust to the idea this is not the man next to whom I would grow old. This is how I feel, this is my fear. I am not being silly for an audience, as I would usually be. Thanks for reading.

R! said...

"...knew the next moment you..."

Love you.

monsoux said...

I don't plan phrases, they just happen to me. Maybe I am programmed?! Well, anything that makes me loved goes. And anything that makes YOU love me is a must :)

exquisite said...

me hugs you.
and yes, i also believe you will.

monsoux said...

hey! Kinda knew you were around here, although you don't say much. Hugs back.

exquisite said...

I've never stopped being "around here". For quite some years now, if I think about it.
sleep tight, wander boy :)